


Sun Soaked

by Emetrol



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Canon LGBTQ Male Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Drunken Shenanigans, Eliza Thicccc, Eliza doesn't know how to handle her feelings, Eliza has a cat, Eliza has pretty bad intrusive thoughts, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Female Jewish Character, HAROLD THEY'RE LESBIANS, Los Angeles, Multi, Other, Recreational Drug Use, References to Depression, Sexual Tension, Trans Female Character, Unresolved?, YouTubers - Freeform, body images issues, his name is David, lmao you'll have to find out, resolved?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:20:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21628261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emetrol/pseuds/Emetrol
Summary: Eliza Cline has lived in Los Angeles for over three years, and after graduating Film School, she ends up working for the up and coming beauty YouTuber Grace Henry. As Grace rises to the top, Eliza is also thrust into the spotlight of internet fame, and the world she once thought was so simple is now turned up side down.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 6





	1. City of Disappointing Your Parents

Eliza Cline was supposed to do great things. That’s why she moved to LA, that’s why she went to Film School for christs sake. Who in their right mind would go to Film School? Who in their right mind would willingly move to _LA_? But great things were not in the cards for her, evident enough in her sitting at someone else's kitchen counter, in someone else’s great apartment, editing someone else’s video. She was the illustrious Grace Henry’s personal assistant and video editor, definitely a great endeavor for someone with a bachelors in film, television, and digital media from UCLA. She had her own YouTube channel, but she mostly used it to practice her editing and keeping her skills sharp. Though, she guessed that's why she started working for Grace in the first place. Grace had a need and Eliza was willing to work, not that Eliza would tell her mother she was the personal assistant for a girl younger and more successful than her.

So she sat, editing and fine tuning one of Grace’s most recent videos while she filmed another. She got into the rhythm of it nearly instantly, feeling the day melt away as she focused entirely on the chopped up video in front of her. Grace’s bright and intoxicating attitude was easy to engage with for a long period of time, and the minutes quickly fell into a couple of hours.

Eliza’s phone started buzzing, pulling Eliza away from the moment entirely. She fished the device out of her pocket, annoyed with the sudden intrusion.

“Hello this is Eliza for Grace Henry, who may I ask is speaking?”

“Uh hi, this is Caleb Cabral. Are you Grace’s assistant?”

Already preparing a post it note for Grace, she internally groaned at his question. “Caleb Cabral” had called no less than three times that past week and a half and each and every time he’d ask her if she was Grace’s assistant.

“Yes I am Mr. Cabral. May I inquire as to what your call is about?”

“Damn you have a great customer service voice. Has anyone ever told you that? I feel like I’m talking to Siri or something.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thank you, sir. Can I ask what is the nature of your call?”

“Oh yeah uh, I just wanted to see if Grace wanted to hang with us tonight is all.”

Eliza scammed the planner in front of her, seeing that the night was free for Grace. “No problem. I’ll get her your message right away.”

“Thanks much appreciated.”

“Would you like for me to give you Grace’s personal number? It may make it easier for your to reach her on a regular basis.”

She heard him laugh through the phone. “Oh and sacrifice the delight of our little chats?”

Eliza couldn’t help but grind her teeth. “Well I just thought-“

He cut her off. “-don’t worry about it sweetheart I’m just fucking with you.” His jovial tone only worked to cement Eliza’s dislike.

“You are free to tag along though, I’m sure you have some great anecdotes about Gracie.”

Eliza rolled her eyes. “You bet I do.” She said, barely trying to restain the disdain in her voice. “What time should I tell her to meet you?”

“Nah don’t worry, just tell her we’ll pick her up around nine.”

“Great, I’ll get this to her right away.” She said with a false brightness, writing down ‘Dickass n’ friends' in Grace’s planner before realizing she had done it. _Shit_.

“Always great talkin’ to you, uh, Alyssa was it?”

Eliza almost screamed. “Yep! Have a great day Mr- what was it, Cobalt?”

He laughed again, but it didn’t sound as sincere. “Haha, you got it.”

She gave him Grace’s personal number, silently thanking god she’d never have to speak to him again. “Have a great day, and Grace will see you tonight.” Eliza hung up before he could say any goodbyes, and though she knew it was petty, it felt good.

Grace walked out of her filming room about an hour later, stretching and groaning from relief after sitting for so long.

“Anybody call?”

She walked towards the fridge, grabbing a bottle of kombucha and handing another to Eliza.

“Uh yeah, Caleb wants you to hang out tonight, and I gave him your personal number.”

Grace beamed at Eliza, and for a moment Eliza wished Grace wasn’t straight. Some part of Eliza had been attracted to Grace, from the moment she had met her Grace just had a magnetic pull. Eliza knew she wasn’t special in her attraction though, Grace attracted basically anyone she met. Honey blonde curls and mossy green eyes, Grace Henry was a knock out and a half. She lifted her petite frame onto her pale counter top, tanned legs hanging off the side.

“Perfect. Did he say what time?”

Eliza couldn’t help herself, and a thread of contempt had threaded itself in her voice when she spoke about Caleb. “Yeah, around nine. But it took a lot to get a set time.” She took an angry swig of her guava kombucha while Grace looked at her inquisitively.

“Uh, are you okay?”

Eliza shook her head, trying to shake away her bad attitude. “Yeah I’m fine, he just pisses me off a little.”

Grace snorted. “Why?”

“He called me Alyssa, and he has terrible manners over the phone. He sounds like a dumbass.”

This caused Grace to chortle and giggle uncontrollably. Eliza raised an eyebrow at her, more confused than anything else.

“You haven’t even met Isaac, he’s the real dumbass.” Grace wiped her eyes as she hopped off the counter nimbly. “Just be patient with him. You’ll have to meet him eventually so just reserve your judgment until then.”

“How sensible of you.” Eliza commented.

“Well, I am a Libra.” Grace shrugged and smiled. Turning towards Eliza, her demeanor was suddenly more serious. “You are free to come if you want. Just to meet everyone and get the lowdown. It might be fun.” Her expression was hopeful, and Eliza mentally punched herself. _She’s just being nice_. A voice said in the back of her mind. _Just trying to pacify your bitchiness._

“Oh, uh.” Eliza hesitated, suddenly uncomfortable. “I don’t think I’d be able to tonight. I mean, it’s a Thursday night, I gotta wake up tomorrow.” Eliza laughed slightly, hoping to lift the mood. _You stupid bitch_. That voice told her. Grace nodded, smile returning to her face.

“Okay, that’s fine. Maybe next time ya know?” She said as she readjusted the straps of her tank top. Eliza nodded, sliding off the bar stool and gathering her things. “For sure, anything for you, Gracie.”

Grace grinned at Eliza, circling her arms around her neck and squeezing. Eliza hugged her back, smiling wistfully at the contact.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?”

Grace laughed heartily. “That’s why I hired you.”


	2. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

When Eliza entered her modest apartment, the day suddenly hit her like a truck. Her cat, David, rubbed against her legs, demanding to be fed with loud and constant mewls. 

“Oh calm down.” She muttered at him, reaching down and picking him up, scratching behind his ears and rubbing the underside of his chin. She cooed at him, bringing him over to her kitchen countertop and setting him onto it. Sighing, she prepared and served him his dinner. 

“You eat better than me, little bitch boy.”

He didn’t acknowledge her, just purred happily as he gorged himself. She stroked his striped fur for a few moments longer before setting down the rest of her things, biting the inside of her cheek in thought. Was there anything in her schedule that she’d have to keep her bra on for? She dug her planner out of her bag and flipped through it, eyes falling on the blank box of Thursday. She shut it with more force than intended, surprising herself and David simultaneously. 

“Shit, sorry bud.”   
  


She wandered to her room, equally as modest as the rest of her apartment, and changed into pajamas. “Pajamas” being her high school basketball shorts and an over-sized t-shirt that she honestly didn’t know was in her closet until she saw it. 

Walking back out into her living room and then into her kitchen, a small part of Eliza regretted not accepting Grace’s offer. Why did she even say no? Eliza pondered on it, pouring herself a glass of wine and sipping on it thoughtfully.  _ No,  _ she thought.  _ I have stuff I need to do tonight. No need to ruminate. _ So she reached for her work laptop, fully preparing to spend her night editing more videos, until she remembered she had finished it all at Grace’s.  _ That’s fine _ , she thought,  _ it’s good to have all your work done for the night _ . She was doing fine. Everything was fine. 

And then her phone buzzed. 

She reached for it, already knowing that it wouldn’t be someone talking to her. At best, it’d be a promotional email that she’d be able to block or ignore. The little Instagram symbol glowed tauntingly up at her, signifying that Grace had posted something to her page. Her thumb moved out of muscle memory, tapping on the little icon and bring the post right into Eliza’s face. It was a selfie of Grace, obviously, but she was with four other people. The picture itself was blurry, probably due to Grace’s drunkenness, but all were smiling, all were gorgeous, and all were very clearly having fun. Grace’s arm was thrown around a guy’s neck, and Eliza immediately recognized him as Caleb.  _ Caleb  _ fucking  _ Cabral _ . Another dude posed just behind them, but it took a moment for her to recognize him as well. Isaac Nguyen.  _ Duh _ , she scolded herself. Caleb had a David Dobrik-esque group of friends who no matter what, always seemed to be the central focus of his inane vlogs. Of course when he’d said “us” and “we” he meant them. The two women embracing next to Caleb then obviously had to be Sadie Nguyen and Judith Taylor. 

Staring at the photo, an unwelcome jolt of jealousy rose like bile into Eliza’s throat. She rolled her eyes, turning off her phone and taking another sip of wine. Rationalizing to herself that it was fine, it didn’t matter. She could have had a fun night, and she had said no. That was fine. Her petty bullshit got in the way once again, but that was fine. Taking a bigger gulp of wine and refilling her glass, she looked around her shitty little apartment and felt that begrudging stab of self-pity.

  
  


It really sucked, realizing how lonely she was. Just the tiniest taste of friendship, of someone wanting her around, had left her crumpled with how lonely she was. Of course, the thought that they had only invited her out of pity or some sort of manipulation on her end made her feel even worse, but that didn’t change the fact that somewhere out there, she was not missed. She’d hear about the night, about all the fun escapades and anecdotes of the night and the “you have to come next time”s and the “you had to have been there”s. She guessed she just wasn't that person, the kind of person who could freely party on a Thursday night with no thought of repercussions or obligations. 

_ All the better _ , Eliza thought, looking around her small living room.  _ I’ll have a me night _ . But she didn’t really want to be left alone with herself. One night to herself without any work to do left her without the one thing she had been relying on for the past year, a distraction. Maybe she’d sit in her bathtub and cry while listening to Mitski, or sit in her bathtub and cry over an audio-book romance. Too many of her options involved crying in the bathtub, maybe shed switch it up and cry on the couch. Eliza smiled grimly to herself, reminding herself that people are allowed to have fun without her, but quickly that thinking turned into  _ ”Your just being a selfish bitch. You’re just upset that you can’t manipulate them into liking you.” _

“Jesus christ calm down.” She muttered to herself, gulping down the last dregs of her glass of wine. Maybe she’d get drunk by herself, but that also struck her as unhealthy and unproductive. God, it’d be so much easier to pretend like she was okay around other people. 

She went to nurse more on her glass of wine, but remembered that she’d already emptied it. Sighing, she got up and wandered over to her kitchen, opening her fridge and frowning when there was only the empty wine bottle staring back at her. Finally, a distraction. She couldn’t very well have a breakdown in public, now could she? (This is false, as Eliza had cried  _ many  _ a time in public). She grabbed the keys to her busted old Saturn, patting David as she walked out the door. 

  
  
  
  


Eliza did end up crying in her bathtub.

“So, uh, I’m drunk.”

The ring light shone in Eliza’s face almost uncomfortably, but she poured another glass of wine and smiled into the camera regardless. 

“And I thought that I’d show y’all my hair routine as today is my wash day.” Her words had started slurring a glass and a half ago, but she soldiered on. Wetting her hair, she glooped the co-wash into her hand, still holding her stemless wine glass like a lifeline. 

“That’s why it’s so great working for Grace! I get all the PR packages she doesn’t like.” She somehow got the product in her hair. Stopping suddenly, she stared into the camera and giggled. “She is the most beautiful, classy, genuine person I’ve ever had the pleasure to work for and she is so good at makeup! I've- I’ve never met a straight person so good at makeup before!”

She didn’t exactly have an idea for a video, just that she saw her camera sitting there and was just drunk enough to grab it and start filming. Then somehow she ended up in her bathtub wearing her swimsuit and doing her hair. She had less than five hundred followers, and she posted so sparsely she knew she wouldn't get any views on it. Washing it out meticulously as a drunk person could, Eliza reached for her conditioner. 

“She’s out tonight with her friends though, and I don’t have any friends so here I am.”

She lifted her arms, gesturing to her small little bathroom and tripod. Tears threatened to choke her and she pushed them down. “I’ll make sure to edit out any crying. Crying on camera just ain’t cute sis.” She detangled her hair sloppily, continuing to talk and comb and take the occasional sip of wine, her words slurring together. Nothing seemed to be able to stick to her brain, like it were made of butter. Tears streamed down her face every so often, turning her freckled face bright red and blotchy. 

“Ha, guess if I’m crying the whole fucking time I can only edit out so much before it’s incomprehensible.” She laughed bitterly, downing her glass and reaching for the bottle, which she had somehow forgotten she had taken with her. 

“God, do I ever shut the fuck up?” She quaffed into the camera. “I talk too much when I’m sober an- and even more so when I’m drunk. God was just like ‘let’s make the dumbest bitch on the plant and give her big tits and a shitty personality’.” She chortled scornfully, washing out her hair and draining the tub. She rambled for god knows how much longer, and before she ended up falling asleep in her empty tub she climbed out, reaching for her camera.

“Off to editing hell with you.” She muttered as she attempted to turn it off, finding that the battery was already dead. Groaning loudly, she grabbed it to bring it to the charging station, dripping water all throughout her house. While it sat charging, she ended up dosing off on her couch, jerking suddenly up when David leaped into her lap. She thought she had only been asleep for a few minutes, but her phone camera read at 3:00p.m. Still slightly drunk, she grabbed her camera and uploaded the video into premiere, hastily editing it as she got more and more tired. She fell asleep, half slung over her couch, waiting for it to upload onto her channel. 


	3. The Audi and the Saturn

The next morning her mouth felt like she had chugged glue. Groaning, she reached for her phone, unsurprised that no one had called her. How much had she had? She scanned her memories of the night before and came up with nothing, holding her head in her hands as she fought back the urge to vomit. She didn’t know how long she had sat that way, but her phone vibrating brought her attention back to the real world. She reached for it, not paying attention to the caller ID as she answered. 

“Hello?” Her voice cracked and she winced. 

“Eliza?” It was Grace, her voice far too chipper and loud for so early in the morning. Eliza sighed, standing uneasily on her feet as she stretched. “What?” She groaned out. 

“Whoa, are you okay?” Grace’s voice sounded sweet enough that Eliza nearly threw up. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She grunted. “Just a little hung over.” Grace gasped. 

“Are you okay? Do you need anything? Jesus Eliza you sound like death how much did you drink?” Eliza could barely keep up with Grace’s chirping. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay? You got pretty wild last night as well.” Eliza could practically feel Grace’s blushing grin through the phone. 

“It’s just a little crazy, ya know? Me and Caleb just bump into each other at VidCon and now I’ve made all these new friends. I think- I think they’re gonna ask me to join the squad.”

Eliza nearly squealed. Genuinely, Eliza could think of nothing better for Grace than joining Caleb’s little vlog squad. He was like internet nobility, on his way to royalty. By getting in on the ground floor, Grace’s channel growth would be exponential. Eliza also knew that Grace knew it, and her heart soared for her. 

“Hey so uh, he invited me to be in a video.” 

Eliza’s excitement grew further. “Grace! That’s amazing!”

“Right? It’s just, because it’d be the first time and all, I invited you too.”

Her chest fell. A pit formed in her stomach and she nearly threw up again. 

“Oh uh, yeah of course. To take notes and stuff that makes sense.”

“Yeah yeah, and I mean, you will have to meet everyone anyway, so why not just get it out of the way?” 

“Of course, I totally get that.” Eliza swallowed the lump in her throat. “So what day? I’ll need to put it in my calendar.”

Grace hesitated and Eliza’s head exploded into a stress headache. 

“Sooo, I’m guessing it’s a right now type deal?” Grace groaned a soft and prolonged “yes”, and Eliza grimaced. 

“You know what? That’s totally fine. I’ll be over in an hour?” Eliza hoped her fake cheery tone would convince Grace. 

“Oh! That’s perfect! Thank you so much, Eliza, you have no idea how much this means to me.” Eliza did have an idea of how much it meant to Grace, but even so, it didn’t matter. 

“It’s just my job, Grace. There’s really no need to thank me.” 

Grace bid her goodbyes with her sunshine voice singing a “love you” nonchalantly, hanging up before Eliza could respond in kind. David was already pawing at her legs, demanding to be fed. Swallowing her apprehension, Eliza got along with her routine, relieved to find that she had already done her hair the night before. Vague memories of sitting in her bathtub floated into her mind, but she swatted them away with her daily duties. She put her dark brown hair into a half up-half down bun, keeping the majority of her hair out of her face. Sliding on a jean jacket and grabbing her keys, Eliza was out the door in record time, even before the three Advil she had taken went into effect. 

When Eliza pulled up into Grace’s driveway, a third, unfamiliar car was parked where Eliza usually would have. At first she thought it was a Volkswagen of some sort, but then the four silver rings of an Audi gleamed up at her, and the sour taste of dislike settled on her tongue. Grumbling to herself, she hefted her computer bag over her shoulder and slumped up to Grace’s door. Bearing a fake smile and care free attitude, she used the key Grace had given her and walked in, her appearance being punctuated by Grace’s collie, Beck, barking excitedly. Eliza struggled to keep the bag secure on her shoulder as the giant, fluffy dog assaulted her with love and yips of affection

“Lizzy!” Grace’s voice echoed from her kitchen. Two male voices echoed along with hers, and all the good fortune Eliza had gained from Beck’s infectious excitement drained from her. 

“Here!” She called, hoping her voice didn't shake or crack too obviously. _God, this is literally your job, get a grip you cowardly bitch_. Eliza shook away the thought just in time to see Grace’s bounding, lithe frame step into the foyer. Grace really did have a way of lighting up a room, and Eliza forgot about the two insufferable men in the kitchen for a moment. 

“I already fed Beck, there's so much to do today.” Grace squealed as she grabbed Eliza’s hand and pulled her into the kitchen. 

“Oh uh-” Before Eliza could finished, two pairs of eyes were on her. Feeling her skin begin to crawl, she distracted herself by setting down her camera bag on the counter, still feeling the eyes on her back. She breathed deeply, a frail attempt to ground herself, before turning to the man who’d been torturing her over the phone for months. 

“Hi, I’m Eliza Cline.” She stuck out her hand, hoping her hands weren’t sweaty. 

“Caleb. Cabral.” He took her hand, giving her a singular yet firm shake. Glancing away from his too bright white t-shirt, she turned to the man standing next to him. 

“Isaac Nguyen, at your service.” Issac shook Eliza’s hand a little longer, and his nearly undetectable southern accent unlocked a very visceral memory of Eliza trying her damnedest to squash her own slight drawl. At first glance, Caleb and Isaac looked very similar, and for a moment Eliza wondered if they were distantly related. Realizing she had probably been quiet for too long, she scrambled for a distraction from her awkwardness. 

“Your sister is Sadie Nguyen, right?” Eliza inquired, smiling up at Issac’s lanky frame. 

“Yeah, she wont let me forget it.” Isaac, Caleb, and Grace all shared a secret sort of laugh, and Eliza felt her stomach drop at the closeness of the three. It felt wrong almost, to watch them all laugh about an inside joke that Eliza knew she’d never have access too. She was just Grace’s assistant, she was faceless, expendable, easy to ignore. Some part of Eliza liked it that way, it made it easier to disappear. 

“Oh!” Grace exclaimed, her glossy lips a perfect ‘o’. “We should head out, huh.”

“That indeed we should.” Caleb said, glancing at his phone and then shoving back into his jeans. Before Eliza could reach for her computer bag, Caleb grabbed it from behind her, pressing her against the kitchen counter for the briefest moments. A musky, spicy scent filled her nose and she nearly threw up at the contact of his body on hers. 

“That’s mine.” She grit out. He just grinned at her, turning away with a simple ‘I got it’. Fuming a little, Eliza walked out to the car, which turned out to be Caleb’s (obviously). Watching him place his and her bags in the trunk, she thought of how nice it would be for an excuse to murder him if he fucked up her computer. 

“Where are we going?” She asked, a little dumbly. Caleb shut the trunk and smiled at her as he walked towards the passenger seat. 

“It’s a secret, even Gracie doesn’t know.” 

Rolling her eyes before climbing into the back seat, she thought of the headlines when the press would find her and Grace’s bodies if Caleb turned out to be a murderer. _Up and Coming Beauty Guru and Unknown Woman Found Dead in San Gabriel Valley._ Laughing a little morbidly at herself, Eliza slid her phone out her jack pocket and prepared to spend the rest of the day organizing Grace’s calendar and email. 


	4. The Gay

Eliza sat uncomfortably in the back seat, organizing Grace’s email as the clamour of people excitedly talking becoming a distant background noise.

“So what do you do?”

She looked up and saw Caleb’s vlog camera pointed at her. Eliza glanced from Grace's bright grinning face back to Caleb and his stupid vlog camera.

“I’m Grace’s assistant.”

Issiac chortled and everyone smirked knowingly at her, and Eliza felt as though she was missing out on an inside joke.

“Yeah obviously, but what do you  _ like  _ to do.”

Eliza couldn’t help but stare at Caleb and his camera incredulously.

“Are you filming?”

Her voice sounded softer, more vulnerable than she had intended. Grace reached out and placed her perfectly manicured hand on Eliza’s wrist, beaming at Caleb.

“She’s just a little camera shy, Caleb.”

Her voice sounded so bright and so carefree, but even her sunny disposition didn’t quell the pang in Eliza’s chest as she realized Grace had to explain away Eliza’s own shitty attitude. Eliza glanced from Grace to the camera once more, internally punching herself for not making a good first impression for her boss. Why did she always have to ruin things for the people she cared about? Why couldn’t she just slap a smile on and laugh at their annoying, shitty jokes? She resolved to at least  _ pretend  _ like she wasn’t a frigid bitch. She set her head straight and raised her chin slightly, hoping no one would notice just how forced her amused tone was.

“No, I’m used to it by now. I was just thrown off by your question. What are you implying by “what do I like to do?”

He laughed again, and a nerve pinched in Eliza’s chest. So he was one of those guys that thought everything was a joke.  _ Great.  _ She couldn’t help but clench her jaw a little as his laughter subsided. 

“What do you do beside work? Or do you just have no life.”

He certainly didn’t know her well enough to throw jabs at her like that. A wave of anger washed over her and she quirked her lips and spat out a reply before even thinking. 

“Do you do anything other than be a conceited dick? Or is that just your job as well.”

Grace and Isaac looked at eachother, barely containing the grins that spread across their features. Caleb kept the camera trained on her, but the playful look in his eye was more than illusionary.

“Grace, why didn’t you tell us she was so cute?” Isaac laughed through his words, keeping his eyes on the road but not doing a very good job of it. Grace snickered and punched Eliza playfully on the arm, shaking her head. “She never fails to surprise me.”

Eliza felt like she was staring into the sun whenever Grace smiled at her, but her soft pink lips drew back and formed the most warm and inviting expression. Eliza wasn’t in love with Grace, she didn’t even have a crush on her, but good lord Eliza wanted to bite that lower lips with such ferocity it scared her. She was bi, most people who worked or knew Eliza knew that, but somehow she had failed to mention it to Grace. She probably knew though, Eliza had posted a video all about her coming out and gay experiences on her youtube channel, and Grace was always the first to comment. Eliza smiled back and looked back down at the phone before Caleb interrupted her thoughts again.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

His voice was filled with forced charm as she looked back up at him and that  _ stupid fucking camera _ . 

“I like to read.” She offered, not wanting to give him anything more personal than that. YouTubers and Influencers tended to use your own information against you whenever they saw fit and Eliza had already had her fair share of disloyalty. He scoffed.

“Obviously, you have that studious vibe oozing out of your goddamn pores. I bet you’re a Ravenclaw, too. Tell me something real.”

He said it so nonchalantly, everyone was giggling and Eliza had never felt more put out.

“Then I don’t know what to tell you, dude, I have no life.”

She desperately tried to sound as carefree as everyone else around her, but her laughing tone sounded too loud and she knew it. God why couldn’t she just answer like a normal fucking person.  _ Stupid bitch.  _ Mentally she tried to catch herself, but it was futile.  _ Oh, so now you’re going to sit there and mope? Don’t feel bad for yourself just because you don’t know how to control your own fucking emotions.  _ She stared back at the phone screen, pretending to continue with her work, everyone else around her laughing incessantly. 

“So besides that, are you dating anyone?” 

_ Did he ever put that camera down?  _ She glanced back up at Caleb, not really feeling up to another scathing remark. 

“Did we not already establish that I have no life?”

She smiled and stared at him with what she hoped was an inquisitive yet playful look in her eye. Grace and Isaac continued to laugh like hyenas. Caleb didn’t respond, just half-laughed along with them.

“What are you, gay or something?”

The question had taken her aback, like a jab of betrayal in her chest. She shouldn’t have been all that surprised really, this was the kind of group who joke about that sort of thing, thinking it’s okay because they have a gay cousin or something. Something flashed across Caleb’s face and Eliza punched herself for letting him see her being affected. A sick tension hung in the air, as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the car and everyone was waiting for the first person to gasp. 

“I don’t know how that factors into me not having a life but go off I guess.”

The tension was released immediately, everyone erupting into even more childish laughter. What she said wasn’t even all that funny, but she knew it didn’t matter to them. 

“You should do comedy or something, Eliza.”

Isaac grinned at her through the front mirror. She shrugged, feeling awkward but liking the positive attention. Issac always seemed to have that perpetual grin on his fave, and something told her he put it there for a reason. Not wanting to delve into her personal life anymore, Caleb left her at peace for the remainder of the car ride.


	5. Hi Welcome to Chili’s

Finally getting through the mid day LA traffic, they pulled swiftly into the parking space of a restaurant. Eliza couldn’t tell if it was Applebee’s or Chili's because of a bushel of palm trees blocking her view from the back seat, but she knew it smelled cheap. She hung back as Grace, Caleb, and Isaac walked eagerly towards a group of four people, and the sound of too loud laughter penetrated Eliza’s ears. As many times as she had done it, standing off to the side with others while they had fun never failed to make her feel like shit. She glanced up at the red glowing sign and sighed when it said Chili’s. She toyed with her phone, ignoring the group of chattering, happy, twenty year olds standing a few feet away from her. 

“Eliza! Come meet the squad!”

Right, she was Grace’s assistant. She needed to know everyone for future collaborations and videos. God why are you such an awkward dumbass. She walked over to the small group that had formed in front of Grace. A girl, most likely the same age as Eliza, stood confidently, manicured hands resting gracefully on her shapely hips. The denim skirt she wore accentuated her legs and hips and a manner that seemed positively sinful, and her white tube top promised that she wasn't wearing a bra on underneath it. Two sparkly barrettes on each side of her perfectly straight hair kept it out of her face, and her tan skin shone underneath the red neon glow of the Chili’s sign. Her lips were delightfully plump, made even more delectable by her blinding lip gloss. Eliza’s mouth went dry as she shook her soft hand.

“I’m Sadie, Isaac’s sister, and this is Judith.”

She gestured to the shorter girl standing next to her. She was just as beautiful, just in a different way. Her skin was a few shades darker than Sadie’s, though it looked just as smooth in the red glare of the sign. Her blonde coils reminded Eliza of Grace’s perfectly balayage waves, and her sharp dark eyes took her in. Judith had an air of authority that caught Eliza off guard, yet endeared the woman to her nonetheless. Eliza shook her hand, feeling like a behemoth compared to the two slender girls standing in front of her. Judith’s grip was more firm than Eliza had expected, and she smiled in surprise at them. 

“So, are you new to LA?”

Eliza wavered her hand a little, a little embarrassed that she had been living in LA for nearly half a decade and she still looked like she had just gotten off the plane. Judith said nothing, just watched Eliza with a slicing gaze. 

“Did you come here for school?”

Eliza nodded again. “Yeah, I went to UCLA for film school. I’ve lived in east hollywood for like, five years.” 

Sadie’s eyes gleamed.

“Oh really? Where?”

“North Alexandria.”

Sadie playfully pushed Eliza’s shoulder, smile blazing on her face.

“Me and my brother used to live near there when we first moved here. Wow what a coincidence.”

Eliza smiled, Sadie’s energy infectious. 

“Yeah for sure.”

The group shuffled into the waiting room of the Chilie’s and the smell of fajitas and crayons hit Eliza immediately. For influencers, Eliza thought, you’d think they’d choose a less basic place. The hostess smiled and greeted them, her dyed red hair pulled up into a messy but cute bun. She showed them their table, and Eliza thanked her, blushing slightly when the waitress smiled back at her. The dining room was mostly empty, though is hard to tell due to the din caused by the group Eliza was currently squished in the middle of. In a misjudgement on her part, she’d slid into the booth first, assuming that everyone would follow and just slide down as they went, but the group split and she was captured in the middle, with Grace at one side and Caleb on the other. His black hoodie was surprisingly soft against her arm, and the warmth of his skin seeped through the fabric and onto her. That, combined with Grace’s bare arm grazing her shoulder every few seconds was more physical contact than Eliza had had all week. 

“We spent an hour and a half in traffic to go to Chili's?” Eliza looked around at the faux mexican decor and felt a little bamboozled. The last time she’d even stepped foot in a Chili’s was with her college friends and they had gotten banned from that location. 

“$5 margaritas, baby.” Sadie drawled and Judith laughed along with her. Caleb had ordered chips, quac, and salsa for the whole table, and Eliza had an inkling that no one sitting at the table was hard pressed for affordable margaritas. She munched on a chip or two quietly, somehow completely excluded from the group’s caterwauling while being right in the middle of them. Caleb’s theatrical gestures caused him to bump into her every five or so seconds, and his boisterous laugh echoed in her head like she’d just been punched. At least he’s not holding that goddamn camera. She thought with disdain, though it was short lived as he pulled out just that horrible little tripod. 

“We’re at Chilies right now for those $5 margaritas!” 

The entire table cheered as Caleb panned around his friends. He’d probably put some sort of Mexican music over or for greater effect, and transition it to later when everyone was shit faced for the “comedy” aspect that seemed so prevalent in his insipid vlogs. 

“So Eliza, how long have you been Grace’s assistant?” 

Isaacs tenor threw her off guard for a moment, surprised that someone was talking to her. 

“Oh wow, about two and a half years or so? I started my senior year of college.” 

Sadie chirped in, gazing excitedly at Eliza as she leaned across the table. 

“Did you go to UCLA?” Eliza nodded, thinking how it was the second time she had said where she went to school and how no one had paid attention. Sadie’s face lit up all the more. 

“Ugh! That must’ve been amazing! It’s such a great campus.” Sadie rested her head on her hands, a pose reminiscent of a classic Disney princess. Eliza nodded again, sipping on her margarita before speaking again. 

“Yeah, though I only lived on campus a couple of years. I was friends with all the theater and cinema majors so there was always something happening, a majority of which were not legal.” Eliza laughed off the end, earning surprised glances from everyone at the table.

“No offense Eliza, but you don’t really seem like the type.” Celeb said, and Eliza noted it was the first time he’d spoken to her in an hour. 

“Oh yeah.” She said nonchalantly, taking another sip of her flavored poison before continuing. “Like, the last time I went to Chilies I got banned from that location.” 

Isaac giggled uncontrollably at that. “How do you get banned from Chilies?” He said in between chortles. Eliza grinned despite herself. 

“I really don’t remember, we were so blasted, but I think that might’ve been the reason why.” She started laughing with him. Grace pushed her arm playfully, a look of shock playing on her features. She soaked in the positive attention, loving the feeling of making someone laugh. 

“Are y’all still in touch?” Sadie inquired, and Eliza felt her smile drop a little.

“Oh, no actually. We had a falling out before graduation. Just ya know, life stuff.” Sadie offered a sympathetic hand, and Eliza surprised herself by taking it. 

“May I ask why? If it’s not too personal, of course.” Judith asked, matching Sadie’s look of concern. Eliza futilely tried to keep the mood light. 

“Oh not at all. It was just life stuff ya know? I had a really shitty boyfriend at the time and there was an ultimatum that occurred and I made the wrong choice.” Eliza really hadn’t expected to revisit that part of her life, especially not in front of other people. Sadie nodded her head rapidly in solidarity, assuring Eliza that she completely understood what that felt like. 

“When me n’ Isaac first moved here, he had a boyfriend who said it was either him or me, I bet you can guess which one he chose.” Sadie finished with a warm smile directed at Isaac, who nodded and smiled solemnly back. Eliza laughed a little, a memory resurfacing suddenly. 

“I was dating this girl one time, who was like, a hardline communist, like idolizing Vladimir Lenin type shit.” 

“Oh ultimate daddy.” Sadie said in a wan tone, causing Judith to push her jokingly. Eliza laughed along with her before continuing. 

“She tried to convince me to travel with her in a van, you know, expelling our capitalist society and just being, ya know? A part of me loved it, but I was a sophomore, and I’d only known her like a month at that point.” 

Judith exchanged a knowing look with Sadie. Eliza shrugged, dipping another chip in queso before finishing. 

“I don’t know, sometimes I’d like to think what would’ve happened if I had gone with her. But then I remember that she’d unironically masturbate to Emma Goldstein audiobooks.”

She chewed on her chip thoughtfully for a moment before continuing. “But then again who hasn’t.” 

Caleb jostled next to her, and it took her a moment to realize that he was laughing. He hid his mouth behind his hand, but his blue eyes crinkled and his skin flushed in a way that betrayed his true actions. A brief flash of triumph lit up her chest, and her ego inflated ten fold at the ability to make Caleb Cabral laugh, of all people. He hadn’t even offered her a sliver of a smile most of the night, and yet there he was, chortling like a school boy. 

“Where’re you from?”

Judith’s question brought Eliza back from her pensive moment. She shrugged, knowing no one would be impressed by her answer.

“Naples, Florida.” The characteristic disappointment that laced the voice of anyone who lived in Florida coloured her tone, and a heavy weight settled on her shoulders at the mere mention of her childhood home. 

“Damn we were basically neighbors.” Isaac’s eyes smiled at her through the rim of his margarita glass, his jovial, even tone an instant relief. 

“Oh really? Where y’all from?”

“The Ozarks.” Sadie and Isaac groaned at the same time, and Eliza basked in the knowledge that at least someone hated their hometown as much as she did. Grace and Caleb gave each other an inquisitive look, Caleb shrugging after Grace had mouthed “Where?”. Judith leaned across the table and clinked her glass to Eliza’s. 

“West coast kids are all the same, huh?” 

Eliza cheered with Judith, laughing along with her because it was true. When Grace first asked where Eliza grew up and she responded with something that had I-95 running through it, Grace only gave a blank stare. 

“Are you not from LA?” Eliza pointed the question to Judith, who shook her head. “Nah, I’m from Michigan. But my family had a summer home here.” 

Eliza gulped. Summer home? Her parents could afford a summer home? Her parents barely splurged on Hanukkah gifts, let alone a whole other home to spend a season in. 

Sadie gazed at Judith in a way that made Eliza’s stomach churn with jealousy. Staring bitterly at the couple a few moments longer, she drowned the feeling with a large sip of her margarita, her feeling of unease finally starting to be replaced by a pleasant warmth that spread through her body like molasses. Caleb nudged her side and when she begrudgingly looked at him, he was all bright, knowing smiles and waggling eyebrows. 

“You’re starting to get drunk, aren’t you Eliza.” He leaned towards her and said lowly. 

“What makes you say that?” She spat through gritted teeth.

“Your cheeks are all flushed, you look like you just had marathon sex.” 

She didn’t like his tone, or his stupid face, or his obviously permed hair. She didn’t like his too white smile or the way he leaned into her as if they were friends. Glaring at him, she felt more colour rise to her face. From anger or embarrassment, she didn’t know, but she knew she definitely did not like him speaking to her like that. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know, camera boy.” 

“Camera boy?” He shot back at her, mouth covering his growing smile. 

“You’re too immature to be considered a man, so therefore I will not address you as such.” 

“Man you really went to UCLA, huh.” 

She turned towards him, blinking slowly. His outline was becoming fuzzy under the dim, multicolored lights, and she had to focus on him a millisecond longer than what she’d usually have to before speaking to him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean.” 

“Oh, it can mean whatever you want it to mean.” 

Sadie’s voice cut through her confused and frustrated mind fog. “Caleb stop bullying her.” 

Caleb leaned away from her and held his hands up to denote his innocence. “C’mon Sadie, we were just talking.” 

“Ha, yeah I’m sure.” Sadie said sarcastically. Scooting out of the booth, Sadie didn’t even have to say a word for the rest of the girls to follow. Eliza sat uncomfortably for a moment, the feeling of inadequacy creeping in, feeling like a cold, clammy hand on the back of her neck. Trying her best to restrain herself and appear as nonchalant as possible, Sadie turned to her with an inquisitive look. 

“Aren’t you coming?” 

Eliza stared up at her. “Do you want me too?” 

Sadie’s eyebrows knitted together before snorting out a jovial laugh. “Of course, Eliza. C’mon.” 

An odd sensation filled Eliza’s chest as she stared at Sadie. 

“O-okay!” She grinned a little in bafflement. Scooting to her right to exit the booth, she realized that Caleb had failed to get up to let her out. She glanced up at him, already annoyed with his knowing grin. 

“Get up.” 

“What’s the magic word?” He threw back. God what a child. 

Eliza wasn’t that drunk, she was barely even buzzed, but she surprised even herself. Instead of playing Caleb’s shitty little game, she scooted out of the booth anyway, and for the briefest of moments she was half way sitting on his lap. She could feel the roughness of his too expensive jeans through her flimsy leggings, and as she exited the booth in an ungraceful maneuver of legs and arms, she was petrified that she’d gone too far. Without taking the chance to look back at him, she headed towards the bathrooms with the girls laughing as they went.

~*~

Eliza leaned against the bathroom countertop, unsure of what to do with her hands as she glanced at Grace and Judith reapply their assorted cosmetics. No one had mentioned the altercation between her and Caleb, but Grace shot her an inquisitive smile when Eliza had finally caught up to them. A loud flush drowned out the chatter for the briefest of moments, and Sadie exited the middle stall as gracefully as she had entered. Joining the trio with a flourish of her raven hair, she applied her sparkly pink lipgloss to her plush lips as she glanced at Eliza through the mirror. 

“Are you having fun sweetie?” 

Eliza nodded, a little dumbfounded at the question. “Yeah, of course I am.” 

Sadie grinned and plopped the expensive looking tube back into her small purse, taking out another tube (eyebrow gel) in its place. “I’m glad, you seemed a little hesitant at first.”

Judith piped up from beside Sadie. “Yeah, I was worried you might’ve been intimidated.” 

Eliza nodded slowly in acknowledgment. “Well I mean, maybe a little. Caleb didn’t say where we were going or how many people were gonna be here so-“

Sadie cut her off with an exasperated huff as she ran a spoolie through her eyebrows. “Yeah he does that, he thinks it’ll be better for the vlogs if things are a surprise. It works but I mean, obviously it made you uncomfortable.” 

“Oh well, I mean, I got over it. I’m kind of like that in general. I don’t really like new situations.” 

Sadie eyed her through the mirror with a sympathetic purse of her lips. “Aw why is that?” 

Judith nudged Sadie’s elbow with her own. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. This one,” Judith jerked her head towards her girlfriend, “likes to pry.” Sadie pouted at Judith while Grace offered a “you know she’s right”. 

“Oh actually it’s no problem at all! I have anxiety so some things just trigger it more than others.” Eliza clarified with a smile. Her therapist had told her she needed to be more open with others, and Eliza hoped the admission had counted. Judith’s interest was immediately piqued. 

“Oh really? Are you on medication?” 

Sadie gasped dramatically. “Look who’s prying now.” 

Eliza giggled a little and responded to Judith with an ease that surprised her. “I am actually, it’s more of an antidepressant but it is supposed to help anxiety.” 

Judith tilted her head and smiled back. “Me too, what do you take?” 

“Citalopram.” Eliza responded. 

Judith beamed. ”I was on that for awhile, I’m on Wellbutrin now though.” 

That took Eliza aback slightly. Judith was on an antidepressant? Maybe that’s why she appeared so stoic outside the restaurant, she was just trying to handle her symptoms as well. Eliza felt a wave of understanding wash over her, and her belly glowed from the mutual connection. 

“We should probably head back to the table.” Grace had been looking at the time on her phone when she spoke up, and like ducklings the girls filed out of the bathroom with Sadie at the head. Eliza and Judith stayed behind slightly to discuss all the different medications they’d been on, though the conversation halted when they returned to the boys. 

“What’d you do in there, plan world domination?” Caleb smirked as they all sat back down, actually getting up so Eliza could slide back with ease. Grace laughed mockingly at him. “Ha ha, how original. Where’d you get that from, Facebook? You sound like my father.” 

“Well I am your daddy.” Caleb smiled suggestively at Grace while she feigned puking. Eliza sat in between them, an uncomfortable energy radiating off the two that she had the misfortune of being caught in the middle of. The table collectively groaned at Caleb’s statement, and Isaac signaled over the waitress with a dramatic swish of his hand. 

“I think we’re ready to order now, anything to shut that,” Isaac pointed at Caleb, “asshole up.”

The waitress grinned compliantly at his dramatism and Eliza wished she could make a girl smile that way. They each ordered, but in the back of Eliza’s mind she wondered how late it had gotten and if they were still even allowed in the restaurant. Rationalizing that since no one else seemed to be worried about the time, she wouldn’t either.

“We’re not doing anything else tonight, but next weekend we’re going to a new club. Would you want to come?” Sadie’s eyes sparkled with hope as she spoke, and Eliza’s chest warmed with an emotion new to her. 

“Uh, yeah, sure. Sounds like fun.”

Sadie giggled excitedly and squeezed Eliza’s hand from across the table, and she couldn’t help but squeeze back.


	6. Melody Goddamn Okeke

“Well, Eliza, did you do what we discussed last time?” 

Eliza nodded, eager to please. “Yeah! I went out with Grace and her new vlogger friends the other night, and we made plans to go out this weekend as well.”

She couldn’t help the smile on her face.

“So, you’re putting yourself out there?” Eliza’s therapist gave her a hopeful smile, her white teeth perfectly straight and radiant. She was Eliza’s biggest cheerleader, but she kind of had to be. Eliza had been seeing Mel since her early college days, and though she’d been through the therapy ringer before, no one understood her like Mel did. Her office was Eliza’s ultimate comfort zone, the warm yellow walls welcomed her each and every time like a hug. 

“Yes yes, I’m making an effort with almost everyone.”

Her therapist stopped writing, her gleaming smile paused on her face in a tense and quick motion. “Almost?” 

Caught. Eliza sputtered for a moment. “Uh well, I mean, you know. You can’t get along with every single person, especially in a group so big.” 

Her therapist eyed her, and in a slow but fluid motion, took off her glasses. “Eliza, please tell me what that says.” She gestured to the framed diploma hanging on the adjacent wall. 

“Uh, it’s an LSU masters diploma in Clinical Psychology for, uh, you?” 

“And what is my name?” 

“Melody Okeke?” 

“That’s damn right. I have a masters degree from LSU and I’ve been trained to look through bullshit, and you, Eliza, are spewing bullshit.” 

“Mel come on-”

“-No.” Melody interrupted. “We’ve talked too much about your judgment issues. Who’s so awful that you can’t find one thing in common?” 

“You don’t know him like I do, he’s awful.” Eliza defended herself, feeling a petulant child under the hard gaze of Mel. 

“You said they’re vloggers? What’s his name.” Melody set her sights on her computer, typing in ‘youtube’ already. 

“Caleb Cabral.” Eliza muttered. Blood boiled up to her face when Mel verbally noted his most recent vlog was already on the home page. 

The low sound of the vlog infiltrated Mel’s once comfy office, Caleb’s awful voice ringing in Eliza’s ears. Anxiety pierced her chest when she realized that it was coming up to her introduction. Mel watched in silence, skipping ahead only so often to see Eliza’s part in the production. 

“A little much, isn’t he?” Was all she said during the $5 dollar margarita bit. Eliza nodded, rolling her eyes with a chuff. 

“Okay,” Mel paused the video. “I see what you mean. He seems to me the human equivalent of a golden retriever, but an annoying one who hasn’t been house trained.” 

Eliza snorted. “He’s also incredibly rude. In almost every phone call we’ve had he’s called me “Alyssa”, as if he hasn’t known about my existence for months.”

“You have a right to be frustrated, Eliza, but what specifically about Caleb frustrates you so?” 

Eliza sat for a moment, rocking back and forth in thought. “Well-”, she almost started, before cutting herself off. Gritting her teeth, and tried to search in earnest for the repugnant memories of all the wrongdoings Caleb had ever done to her. 

“He’s rude.”

“You said that already.” 

Eliza sighed hastily. “He’s just an ass. I don’t like his attitude. His whole “oh look at me I’m super famous but I still wear Walmart hoodies” shtick doesn’t work on me, I know how disingenuous he is and it’s infuriating how much attention he gets for it.”

Melody’s lips were pursed in thought, and Eliza nearly blanched when she aptly noted; “Is he annoying to you because he’s getting the attention you’ve never had?” 

“Well, well, uh-”

“I’m going to ask you to try a little harder, Eliza. Just practice mindfulness like we’ve talked about.” 

Sighing, Eliza nodded. “I’ll try as much as I can with someone like that.” 

“Maybe you’ll even find you enjoy his company.” Mel beamed at her, voice full of hope that Eliza couldn’t bring herself to disagree with. 

“Okay, let’s not push it.” She half laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minuet lol. Just wanted to post this chapter as a taste-break, I like the idea of cutting up each few sections with Eliza visiting her therapist. I'll see how that goes, but I do have an overarching plan for the rest of the work. I haven't had much time to work on it but I love any and all comments or feedback, especially because contemporary romance is not my cup of tea. This is definitely more dated in the year 2021 as the events take place in July-December of 2019, but I think that adds to charm and escapism. Thank you so much for the hits and kudos, I didn't think I'd receive any and it makes me feel so good to know someone has read my work.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the formatting is all fucked. I've never posted anything on AO3 before and I'm just learning the basics right now lmao sorry. I do have a writing Tumblr so please go give a follow over there, though I'm unsure if I want to post my writing there as well. This isn't beta read and I apologize for that, but none of my friends are really writers themselves or care enough to actually give me feed back. Again, thank you for understanding. Idk if anyone's going to read this anyway so lmao oop we'll see.


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